Stop Vacationing and Start Living

When we think about taking a break from our daily routine, our minds immediately go to the perfectly curated Instagram vacation we’re all too familiar with- perfect tiny cobblestone streets against an artificial cobalt blue sky, clouds the size of giant cotton candy grazing the backdrop. Or we opt-in for the exclusive caffeine-prohibited spa retreat, where the trendy holistic lifestyle packed with acai bowls, all-day yoga classes, and group therapy comes with a hefty price tag of “this is my rent for the next 3 months”. 

I know, I have been there. I've tried to package relaxation into tiny curated moments. And no matter how hard I tried, taking the “right” pictures with the “right friends” at the “right” moment, didn't quite feel ….right.

Over time, I realized spending all my time waiting to snap fun moments left me outside of the experience itself. Spending my time documenting my vacation rather than experiencing it left me feeling empty and unsatisfied. Vacationing this way didn’t actually allow me to hit the pause button, check-in with myself, expand my awareness, and listen to my body and mind. Instead, I was prescribing to a kind of vacation pill, one that merely numbed my stress and anxiety without actually replenishing my energy reserves.

Now I am not implying the only way to truly enjoy an experience is to ban technology. What I am saying, is like all things, traveling is a balancing act, and staying present with an experience without feeling the need to document it for later, is a more rewarding way to experience life.

When we strip away the fluff and are left with the foundation, what are the necessary building blocks to break from the daily grind? What does it take to feel rejuvenated, grateful and energized? 

When I think back on my best vacation moments, it is not the fancy hotels or Michelin star restaurants that I remember. What matters most are the conversations with the locals at the bar, the hostel mates that became lifelong friends, and the relationship I strengthen with myself by spending time alone. I’ve learned it’s not the things we can monetarily quantify that make up a rich experience. Instead, tt’s the intangibles-  the unplanned colorful moments which end up becoming the highlights of our experience. 

So as I continue to expand my traveling repertoire and think about new and exciting places to visit,  I’ve also been thinking a lot about the make up of a meaningful vacation. When we strip away the fluff and are left with the foundation, what are the necessary building blocks to break from the daily grind? What does it take to feel rejuvenated, grateful and energized? 

Spend some time with nature 

Over the years, I’ve developed the habit of carving time from my busy itinerary to spend time with nature - and just be. I either read a book, eat a meal, journal, or take a break from sightseeing. In a sense, what I do is not important.  I have found is trees are like battery packs - they rejuvenate you by being around them. They offer a juxtaposition against our usual "busy-ness" - the world of itineraries, reservations, and selfies. In nature, the daily grind becomes a silly concept. This awareness itself then helps us re-evaluate how we are spending our most valuable non-renewable resource: our time. I am not implying you run out the door and jet to the nearest REI. Nature doesn't have to be an intimidating concept.

I see this as a break from the usual sightseeing. A moment to appreciate nature and its effortless beauty. It is a moment to remind us of the world we take for granted sometimes. In a way, understanding this also expands our awareness to expand our gratitude for nature, ourselves, and others.

Talk to a local 

First off, be smart. Don’t put yourself in a dangerous situation. However, in the off-chance you have the opportunity to talk to a local in a safe environment with multiple exits, take it. When I visited Peru, I decided to take a horseback ride through the jungle. While chatting with the owner of the excursion, I learned he had done at least 15 ayahuasca journeys, the first one at just 15 years old. I learned his dad chose to never learn Spanish. He spoke Quechua, the original language of the Inca people. He said his dad used to say Quechua was the language of humans and Spanish was the language of the dogs, a sentiment based on the savagery in which the Spanish conquered their lands.

Now, no disrespect to La Raza, but that gave me pause. As a Mexican woman, I sometimes forget my language and culture isn’t the only one that has been gutted, destroyed, and forgotten. We aren’t just a conquered language, we too have a dark and bloody past. We too have caused suffering.

Through his experience and that of his people, I was able to understand the vastness of our human experience,  and the repetitive nature of our suffering as a people. We think our experience is very unique, and our problems are very individualistic to who we are. But the more people I meet and the more stories I hear, I am reminded of the usual pattern. We all suffer our own version of generational trauma and the weight of our ancestral mistakes with us. Wasn't I in Peru on an Ayahuasca excursion to confront my own shortcomings? In the end, this experience shifted my perspective. I realized the way to make peace with myself and the person I had become was to make confront my past and the experience of my family. I was not just one person, but a thousand lives in one, and to ever attempt at getting out of the wheel of Samsara was to recognize this truth, and begin to work with it. And I've been doing that ever since.

Walk the streets of a new city

Friends are cool. I get it. But have you ever been to a museum alone? Or a show? Or a movie? It is a completely different experience. Between the fun, flirting, and gossip, you miss details of your surroundings when you are with friends. I have found the best way to get intimate with a new city is to explore it through walking it alone. Pick a densely populated or slightly touristic spot and walk around. With zero agenda. Walk into places not because Google maps or Yelp said you should, but because they catch your eye. Pair a pastry with a latte or glass of wine because it feels right to you, not because a website said you should. Share intimate moments with ourselves. In a sense, I am asking you to learn to date yourself. Take yourself on dates. Walk the streets alone. Think nonsense until it’s not nonsense anymore. Sit alone and watch the world pass you by, completely content with spending time with yourself.

So what makes a good vacation? Spending time with yourself, talking to people outside of your comfort zone, and putting your phone way to be one with nature. I think we can take that formula and adapt it in many different situations, but this is especially true with travel. Thinking this way has also changed by destination preferences. I no longer care about the hot spots that show up the most on my Instagram feed; instead, I pick the places that speak to me. I pick destinations based on the experience I want to have rather than the city I should go to. Let your intuition lead the way. Find rejuvenation on your own terms, with minimal agendas, and with your heart as your guide.