My Life After Ayahuasca
I went on my first Ayahuasca journey a week ago. I’ll start by saying the elements of the experience are exactly what sites like Reddit describe. The lead up to the ceremony is a cathartic and scary process, while the experience itself is like buying a ticket to another universe. Your reality morphs into an alternate world, space and time become irrelevant, and your logic and common sense go out the window. Your sense of control disappears, the journey breaks you down and rebuilds you with an altered outlook on life. All this can feel like minutes or an eternity, depending on how gracious Mother Ayahuasca wants to be that day.
image via @visualspirits
Now I can go into detail about my specific journey, but I don’t think that’s important. First of all, I am limited by my language, and attempting to explain my experience with it seems futile. No words can explain the feeling of interconnectedness to all living beings I experienced during and after my journey. Every “episode” is so lush that it would take me a week to explain 2 minutes of my journey. That is if I could remember that level of detail.
Instead, I want to focus on the Aya “afterglow”. It is said that the true work of an ayahuasca experience begins after the journey itself - when you go back to the “real world” as a changed human trying to fit back in the life you had before. It is said Mother Aya is inside you up to two weeks after your journey with her, and during this time you will experience vivid dreams, incessant deja vú, and utter confusion about the trajectory of your life. Suppressed feelings and memories bubble up to the surface and you are given no choice but to confront your demons or find resolution amidst your unfinished business. Personally, I am going through it as I write this. However, I also believe it is during this time we can experience the most growth.
via @gypsylegends
Along with the confusion exist moments laced with bliss and equanimity, where you begin to change your perspective on how you want to live your life and this newfound clarity usually brings drastic changes. These are some of my realizations and changes in perception I've had since my experience:
Everything is pointless, except for compassion for one another
Here’s the thing - we’re all doing the best we can. No one wakes up every day and says “How can I make everyone miserable all around me?!” Not consciously at least. So the weirdo in the subway telling everyone to fuck off, the date with the guy or girl who can barely hold it together, the friend who feels more like an enemy sometimes - they’re all going through so much emotional turmoil that’s the best they can do. Instead of victimizing yourself and making them the enemy, perhaps we can change the script and ask ourselves what are the things we can do to make their lives easier. So maybe smile at the weirdo in the subway as he’s telling you off, become the listener in that date, and extend some compassion towards your negative friend. Their negative mind is already making the world a harder place, you don’t need to add insult to injury.
Appreciate your body
After my first journey, I was in complete awe of the interworking of my body. It’s laughable the lengths in which we go to control it. We starve it, binge eat to the point of sickness, stress it out, we are critical of all its flaws and don’t thank it for all it does for us each day. We never appreciate it, extend our gratitude for being a vehicle for our soul and mind, or properly maintain it the way we maintain our car, our clothes, and our lawn. But our bodies are a magical, complex universe bound by skin, our inner organs maintaining our constant transformation of decay and reconstruction.
At the very least, think about it this way - you’ve got nowhere to go. Unlike the car, the clothes or the lawn, you grow tired of them, you can discard and start anew. Do you realize how lucky you are if you are in perfect health? Don’t wait until you are seriously ill or develop a terminal illness to love YOU. Maybe when technology allows us to grow every part of our body in a lab and buy replacements on Amazon we can rethink this strategy. Until then, find the time to nourish your body with the right foods, purify it off toxins, and send it love at various times in the day.
Remember, our outside world and inside world are bound by the same dependence to our natural environment. This earth needs us and we need it. Treat your body like you do a friend and prioritize it the way you do a loving relationship.
Between your problems and you, there is a space, fill it with gratitude
Life sucks sometimes, and 100% ok to admit it. Things aren’t always going to go our way and we won’t always feel like our best self. And it’s during these moments we like to give ourselves multiple pitty parties, accuse the universe of its injustice, and defend living a life of negativity and judgment. However, it is during these times, we can isolate a problem, give it space to resolve itself, without allowing it to absorb energy from other aspects of our lives.
Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction
Let’s use an easy example: our romantic relationship is in the pits and you think it may be over. This type of situation sends our entire world in disarray. At best, we stop functioning as human beings, and spend days/weeks/months contemplating a life of exile that resembles Tom Hanks in Cast Away, emotionally falling apart over losing Wilson (meanwhile our real friends are pounding our door wondering how we're doing). At our worst, we turn into Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, stalk them and all their new friends on social media, put together expert profiles on their lives and interests, and begin a diabolical plan to blackmail them and ruin their lives forever.
Don’t be Tom Hanks or Glenn Close.
Instead, see the situation for what it is. You’re having a hard time and you deserve emotional nourishment. Surround yourself with friends and family who love you. Take this time to also evaluate what IS working in your life and be grateful for it. Is your career on track? Are you healthy? Are you financially stable? Do you still have a great set of hair? Did you have a great gym session earlier in the week? Did you have a nice commute to work? Is your local barista just a great guy/gal?
If you answered no to all of these, that’s ok. You’re still not getting out of being a better human. What can you do to make your life 1% more comfortable? Is your career not on track? Perhaps you need to toggle the button in Linkedin to let recruiters know you’re looking. Is your health not great? Can you commit to taking a walk for 30 minutes 4 times a week? Are you not financially stable? Can you declutter your home and make extra income? Can you stop buying $5 lattes for 6 months? (That saves you $480 if you buy coffee 4x/week). Can you meal prep more at home? You get it. Be a catalyst for change, not an energy suck ball. And there is no better - more cathartic time to make big positive changes in your life than when you are going through a rough time. It’s a detox for your soul.
Via @suitestpee
The way we treat this planet is a reflection of how much we love ourselves
I mentioned it earlier - we are interconnected with this planet. We need it and it needs us. Stop ignoring our climate change problems. You can start small - recycle, use your own water bottle, support companies who are mindful of the environment. As a marketer I'll say, you don’t realize how much power you have as a consumer. If we successfully organized ourselves and banned certain companies altogether, we could sink them. Remember: THEY NEED US MORE THAN WE NEED THEM. You are in control of our capitalist society, we’ve just been brainwashed to think otherwise. A company exists because a collective group of humans said: “Sure, I’ll buy your crap”. We also have the power to do otherwise.
Become a conscious human, one who recognizes we don’t solve problems in isolation, but by recognizing our society is a complex organism that needs to be understood before it can be saved. At the very least, you can educate yourself on the different viewpoints on climate change and become a better-informed consumer yourself.
Materialism and the search for status are making you miserable
We all want to be validated, which in turn makes us feel loved. Our society has made us believe attention equates to love. Stop that nonsense. Now, there is nothing wrong with being well-known. Notoriety on its own is not a problem. Most people know who the Dalai Lama is. Whatever your religious beliefs may be, most people can agree he has dedicated most of his life spreading a message of love and peace. If you are well-known because of your social impact, good job. I hope more people become aware of your platform and I hope you continue to drive social change.
The problem lies in using your fame and status, which ultimately translates into power, to manipulate others. It’s using your platform to sell a false version of yourself. It is using your brand to manipulate others into believing materialism leads to feeling complete and loved. The reality is, fame and status create a shell around a human, which over time hardens, and becomes a wall between the world and them. This insulates them, which leads to the development of a God complex that traps them in an engineered environment devout diversity of thought and perspective.
Fame should not be a coveted label. It should be one that comes with a warning sign and serious side effects.
Do I think these values will work for everyone? Absolutely not. I think everyone should find their own list of values that aligns with them. What I can say is these are the ones that feel authentic to me, and these pillars are helping me sustain my emotional and personal growth. Ultimately, Ayahuasca opened the floodgates to a spiritual journey I am just beginning to understand. I think we all have our own starting points of change. Mine happened to be meditation fueled by plant medicine. I think inspiration can be found everywhere as long as you have faith in its power to heal you.
I hope you find your catalyst for change.