The Human Excuse of "I Don't Owe You Anything"

Today I want to talk about the phrase “I don’t owe you anything”. I hate that phrase. And I have bigger problems with humans who hide behind it. What does it mean, anyway?

When I look back at the person I've become, I feel I owe who I am to many different people.  I owe the person I am dating honesty and authenticity. I owe my parents gratitude for the sacrifices they made for me. I owe my high school coach the perseverance I learned from making me run those damn sprints all summer long for four years. I learned mental toughness. It gave a great tan. I learned to push my body to limits I didn’t think possible. I owe my middle school math teacher for making me stay in spelling bee when I was too scared to try.

My point is, we actually owe a lot to everyone we’ve met throughout our lives. Every experience and our direct response as a result of those experiences have contributed to our character.

We’ve all been dumped. We’ve all broken up with someone. Most of us have cheated or have been betrayed. And more times than not, it’s not what they did that matters, but the way they did it. There’s a Buddhist quote that says, “the way you do something, is the way you do everything”. And I firmly believe in that. We’re human. We’re going to make mistakes. We won’t always have the right answer. But we can always move forward by being as empathetic and compassionate as we can. We can treat each other the way we’d want people to treat our mother or our brother or sister.

So, who are these people who hide behind this excuse? Well, it's probably those who have quit when the going gets tough. It's those who can't find a real connection because they are unwilling to put in the work first. It's those who flake. Who stand people up, and those who ghost on others. You'd rather make people feel invisible than have an honest conversation with them and yourself.

You see, the world doesn’t need more of you. Now, more than ever, the world needs exceptional humans, and right now an exceptional human is one who cares. Not because they will get something in return, but because they understand we’re all lived a hard life. We’ve all lost. And won. Only to lose it all again. Good humans know that people are magic. They have the power to turn someone's day around.  Good people inspire. Good people are magnetic. They are soothing souls others gravitate towards.

And isn’t that a better way to live anyway? Doesn’t that feel like the path of least resistance?

We must remember, some cliches are true - what goes around comes around, and we all become the recipient of our treatment of others. And when others take the easy way out, you want to be able to walk away proud of yourself, operating according to your values. Regret free. Moving forward with zero baggage.